SEVEN STEPS TO ANGER CONTROL:
1. FEELINGS: Identify your "upsetting feelings" and use them as STOP signs. Becoming a better observer of your feelings mean you are getting in touch with your feelings.
2. THOUGHTS: Identify your "upsetting thoughts, the thoughts that are making you angry. Question yourself "Why must I get my way?", " Why should others do what I want?" Then answer them.
3. RE-FRAME: Counter act your Anger with " Positive self -messages" it helps slow down your aggression. Tell yourself, "Slow down, easy does it".
4. CLARITY: Try to Clarify whats making you upset and the situation. Ask yourself, "What is really going on in the situation? "
5. GOALS: Set goals for yourself. Ask yourself, "What other routes could I use to resolve this situation?" Be specific and Concrete.
6. OPTIONS: Construct a list of options that can help your goals. Think about what actions you can take to reach your goals.
7. ACTIONS: Choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act on it. Make Sure the end result is a POSITIVE ACTION.
Personal Development Made Easy
Stress and Anger are caused from many different things, sometimes we are unaware of pre-causing symptoms. Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions, it is an reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned emotion. Below is a " Anger Checklist" to help give you clues to your handle on anger.
ANGER CHECKLIST : HOW IS YOUR ANGER?
( please check off and keep track of how many apply, total up at the end)
People tell you that you need to calm down.
You feel tense much of the time.
At work or school, you find yourself not saying how you feel.
When you are upset, you began being anti-social or separate yourself by watching TV, reading a book or even going to sleep.
You are drinking or smoking frequently to help you calm down.
You have trouble going to sleep.
You feel people wont listen to you, so you begin to yell or shout.
Friends do not seek you out much.
SCORING :
0-2 = MANAGEABLE: You may benefit from anger management training.
3-5 = MODERATE: You need to learn more about what stresses you out, and develop stress management and emotional intelligence techniques.
6+ = OUT OF CONTROL: You have anger problems and could benefit from learning anger management techniques. You would benefit from anger management class.
VERBAL vs. NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Communication can be expressed in many different forms, such as Words, Tones, And Body Language. Based on those three categories in a conversation;
* 7% is Spoken Word
* 38% is Tone
* 55% is Body Language
As you can see most of our communication comes in non-verbal form. So its safe to say that facial expressions, eye contact, body posture and motions can pretty much tell a story about a person without them ever speaking a word. Make sure you are aware of the way you express yourself, something so simple can be taken in the wrong contexts, which could be the difference in starting or avoiding a confrontation.
"Letting go of anger doesn't mean that they have won or have gotten away with hurting you, It means that you have decided to be strong and move on."
~Sonya Parker